“Teens for Cash” is part of a dull pantheon of teen sites that follow the same basic gonzo pattern with different furniture. These include “Coeds Need Cash” and “Casting Couch Teens.” The most glaring difference with Teens for Cash is the use of dumpy old men instead of dumpy young men and it’s almost always a threesome.
The site has no real premise, other than that the male performers pay girls they meet on the street to give them molestation rights. Although pornography smells like prostitution to begin with, this site like the others in its genre, take it to the next level by actually displaying the cash to be paid. Often the bills are strewn on the ground during the fucking or chucked on the girl after the money shot. Although I’m always curious about how much girls get paid to sit on old guys, actually seeing the money in the porn is a huge, depressing buzz kill.
The starting lineup of the site consists of four regular gents, each one resembling more or less the creepy middle aged guy in a Hawaiian shirt hanging out in mall food courts. Only two appear in each scene, thankfully. The presence of all four in the same room might cause a cataclysmic implosion of skeeziness. Here’s a quick rundown of each. One, sporting the largest paunch and fuzzy white tit hair looks like an aged version of the guy who hit Eddie Murphy over the head in the first
I’m sorry, but no matter how many old fuckers in the world jerk off, no one over the age of 40 has business being in porn. I highly doubt that older masturbators are thinking “damn, this is great! I can almost picture my golf buddies doing this chick, the guys look a lot alike! This is hot!” No matter many cute teens appear on the site, the experience is ruined by all the spare tires, moustaches, twirled back hair, and hissed dirty talk that sounds like something Gollum would say while whacking it with the ring of power around his 5 century-old dick. Teens for Cash ends up evoking unpleasant images of fungal toenails, bald spots, and sweaty office chairs.
If the reason why there are so many old men in porn is that they’re the only ones dirty enough to keep it up on camera, then someone needs to establish a porn academy for semi-attractive guys. Call your local congressman and tell him/her that they need to support an outlaw of Centrum Silver porn studs.