I’m hoping this site isn’t going to spark a trend. The tag is “The world’s largest black cocks take on white sluts,” which is probably the only reason why this pathetic site has pulled in enough traffic to sustain production of over 75 episodes. The marketing ploy is similar to the cereal box model where it seems like you’re going to get a cool toy in the box, but it turns out you have to send away proof of purchase and $3.99 to get a cheap “Rescue Rangers” action figure. Insane Cock Brothas could probably add another superlative to their homepage: “most disappointed casual internet porn surfers ever.”
The gimmick of Insane Cock Brothas is that two heinously-endowed black men ravish young white ladies with “almost two feet of black meat.” Sound crazy? Sound impossible? Well, your brain didn’t lie to you this time. The dicks are fake, the performers are paunchy, and the whole site has a stink of non-arousal.
I wonder if the dudes get rashes from wearing the prosthetic cocks. I’ve seen more convincing flesh in 1980s splatter horror flicks. Seriously, these things are just plain embarrassing and make most pink dildos look positively lifelike by comparison. The male performers are also black, which is probably a ploy to break into the lucrative market built on a stereotype that every black man is endowed like Lexington Steele. Perhaps at a backyard meeting in some sketchy
In addition to fake cocks, the two male performers also wear vibrant masks for a large number of the scenes. Why the masks? I’m guessing that the founders of the site weren’t trying to capitalize on the success of Nacho Libre or hit the Mexican wrestling niche market. My only conclusion is that the masks are used to allay the humiliation that would ensue if the studs’ friends were to discover they star in videos requiring them to wear large rubber dicks over their own. The male dream of porn tends to evaporate when it involves being a foot and a half away from the vagina with a thick mitt of a thing smothering all arousal.
It doesn’t end there, though. It’s not just big rubber dicks and lucha libre masks. Insane Cock Brothas also wants to out-North Peter North by providing the biggest money shots in the history of porn. They certainly are impressive. The only problem is that like the Rubbermaid units, they’re also completely fake. I’m not sure what’s more degrading for a girl; getting a faceful of semen or getting drenched in half-and-half shot out of a strapless strap-on. There are even moments when the girls break into laughter at the end of a scene, unable to maintain a straight face in this carnival of hyperbole.
This elaborate (and transparent) ruse must make for interesting off-camera preparation and downtime in between shots. Maybe I can persuade the owners of the site to release an outtakes DVD. I can just hear it now. “Christ, cut! Dan, get that glue gun over here, Ramón came loose again.” “Shit! How many times have I told you we need a new milk pump?! He can’t just dribble the stuff on her face, that won’t look convincing at ALL!”
All of this begs the question: who the hell watches this crap? How is this dung heap of a site able to sustain itself through memberships in order to pay its actresses? I highly doubt that even broke third-rate
